Green Food for Thought

Hey there, didn't expect to write something today but I just found a fucking gold mine. A green one. I went to lunch today with my standard sack lunch. But then I saw someone with....GREEN POTATOES. That's right! Green food! Saint Patrick, we love you. Though I may not have any Irish in me at all, I can just connect with consuming as much green stuff as possible, until you yourself turn green.



Brilliant. Brilliant! BRILLIANT! Green food for Saint Patrick's day. Same shitty food with a new additive, green dye, those pineapples are practically swimming in the stuff. Oh man, I'm gonna be shitting green for weeks.

The Pretzel:

I figured that I might as well start with the main attraction; a soggy lukewarm pretzel with what looked like some sort of strangely colored goop. I was ready to make some creepy crawlers out of the stuff, but since the sauce didn't have a lid I didn't want it in my pocket. The pretzel didn't taste any worse than normal, but the sauce had a chemical aftertaste...

The Potatoes:

I had trouble eating the potatoes, there was something wrong with eating something so violently green. I expected a nice minty flavor, I desperately hoped for it. But all I got was some crappy potatoes from concentrate. They were a little more obviously off taste than the other foods, maybe it was just how wrong green potatoes and gravy look.

The Pineapples:

God, I hate pineapples! Green or not they suck, a lot. With that said this review is no longer credible. The pineapples were really sweet, so if you like sweet pineapples swimming in a green bath of dye, these things are for you. I would review the cookie, but it was just an average sugar cookie. Pretty good.

The Cinnamon Roll:

The cinnamon roll, pretty good. Again the icing was normal flavored. But still good.
Overall, it was nice to see the lunch staff to make a half assed effort to provide novelty food for uncaring jackass high school kids. But let it be know, I care....I....Care...

--Spencer