In the Zone

So I went to the Brunswick zone with Carl, and Kevin today. It was pretty cool. We went to the arcade, so here's my review of the Brunswick arcade. Here's Carl if you don't know him, there's a picture of Kevin in my biology post.



We went past the expensive machines, to the old row of crapped out machines from the mid 90's They had some pretty ancient crap back there. These are some of the newer machines. They had Mrs. Pacman of course, but who doesn't. Almost every arcade in the world has Mrs. Pacman...


After beating Kevin's ass at some Mortal Kombat, we stumbled onto this..

Oh sweet Jesus. I knew all that praying had to work. Ninja Ninja Assault Assault..I knew I had to play it. It was missing link in my life. But no! The machine wasn't working. Those lousy "Fun Keys" they give you suck. I longed for some tokens. But we had to press on. I was ready to settle on some of the less imaginative light gun games. But my Fun Key ran out of money. No shooty action for me. We wandered around for awhile until we came to the grabber section.


Just as the Ninja Ninja Assault Assault proved the existence of God. The Bling King proved the existence of Satan. It goes to show just how far the "Bling Bling" juggernaut went. Something about the "Bling King" was all wrong, maybe it was the noxious base line it pumped out, or the horrible cheap looking contents. The world may never know. After Kevin ate at the snack bar, we wandered around the more expensive games. This machine caught my eye.


With it's flashy lights, big prizes and promise of winning something every time. I couldn't resist. I also couldn't figure out how it works, so I just hit the button randomly. The machine made a crazy noise, so I figure I'd gotten something good. I looked around the drop bin, I thought the machine jipped me. But then my hand hit something small and rubbery. I thought someone just left it in there. But it was my prize.

I could've picked something more interesting off the bottom of my shoe, but the thing at least bounced. I'd have to settle for it. They had an ice cream vending machine, we were getting ready to leave. And I figured I'd buy some, since Kevin and Carl had already. I was in the mood for some reeses so I put in my cash and punched in the code. The vending machine went through the vending motions, but the bar stayed there. You can see the fence is gone, but the bar would not drop.

Look at it, it just stopped there. I wouldn't have cared so much if the thing didn't cost a buck fifty. When I pay that kind of money I expect results. We shook the hell out of that machine but the thing wouldn't budge. We all pooled together our cash to buy a second reeses bar for Kevin. The second bar was pushed out of the way by the first, but the second bar got stuck...


So close yet so far away. I finally hulked out on the fuckin' thing and shook it until the bar came loose. Overall a good ending to the trip. As we were walking out Kevin spotted this. I think I've died and gone to heaven. Back in fifth grade gang violence and drugs were a big deal. Police got involved in kids, and tried to scare the hell out of them with this...

Wow. Just wow.

I'm not sure I can take this poster, it blows my mind. Made with Adobe Photoshop 1.o, or maybe a beta version of Microsoft Paint. The poster trys makes the Naperville police department look like a bunch of weight lifting, gun wielding hardasses. The poster definitely persuaded me no to join a gang. In fact it changed my life forever.

Just say no!

--Spencer