The Lost Pharaoh that Was Lost but Not Anymore

Here we are, the post that propels me into the new month, how exciting...Back in the Field Museum post I made a reference to the "Mummy" I bought. And what a Mummy it was.

Presenting...

THE LOST PHARAOH THAT WAS LOST, BUT NOT ANYMORE.

I was ready for maybe ten minutes of digging through somewhat compacted sand, but this stuff was tough. Especially since they gave you tools you could make out of popsicle sticks, if not Duplos.


I prepared my dig site as recommended on the back of the box. After several thousand hits with the mallet and chisel, I had a incredibly small indent and a realization that this would take hours if there was not a better way. But, I decided to play by the rules, for awhile.

After a lunch break, I moved to a diffrent excavation site on the uh.."Mummy". After chipping away for forever and a day, I finally hit somthing...

A SMALL WHITE CHIP!

YES! After a good thirty minutes of hammering the mummy and talking to myself, I finally found some results. I was sure that this was the lost Pharoah hisself.

It was just a friggin' white ROCK. Down, but not out I doubly redoubled my strokes on the Mummy and I hit the real thing.

When I found the first peice of the Mummy, I had the urge to jump out of my chair and do a Kool Aid man impression. Luckily I was able to retrain myself. I knew I would have to be extra careful, since the Mummy was fragile.

For some reason, the mummy was mummificated* into seperate peices. He was just that awesome.

After consulting the back of the box, I was able to peice the Pharoah together fairly well. There was only one problem. His head was fucking HUGE.


There is no reason for a head this size. The only thing I could think of is that he was an Alien mummy. Well, another day, another fake plastic mummy dug out of sandstone.

--Spencer