POGS

POGS BABY POGS. Feel that rush you get when you say POG? Oh yeah, that's the stuff. POOOG. I guess what I'm trying to say is.

They're Fucking POGS Damnit!

The history of POGs is a long and strange story. But I've boiled it down to what a conversation between the "creators of POGs" would sound like.

Hawaiian farmer: Man, I'm bored as hell.
Hawaiian farmer:Hey I bet if we stack up these milk caps and knock them over, we can make a game in which stupid kids throw hunks of metal at cardboard circles.
Hawaiian farmer:No way!
Hawaiian farmer:Way!

(The game was made in the 1920's by a bunch of bored Hawaiian Dairy Farmers)

I nearly jumped for joy when I opened the POGs shipping package, there I found the two promised tubes of POGs, the slammers. And a little pamphlet with instructions on how to play the game, its the one with the batman symbol on it. There was supposed to be a game board too, but instead there was a certificate for 100% authenticity.

I'm happy I got this thing, otherwise they might have been fake POGs, but the World POG Federation assures me that these are indeed the real deal. If that wasn't enough they threw in a strange orange wildebeest telling me to "Slam 'Um". Who the hell thought they could get away with this?


I emptied the first tube of POGs, complete with twenty five random POGs and a purple dog slammer. The instruction left a lot to guesswork so I picked up my slammer and kissed it, just like in that movie you know? And smashed it violently into the poor stack of POGs.


Damn. I suck at POGs, and life. I was so depressed that I cried for hours, then I turned to my computer physiologist, Dr. Sbaitso.

He had some answers, but I was going to have to play hardball for some real advice.


The man had the answer, but he wasn't going to tell me this time. So I decided to take a break from the good doctor and continue playing POGs.


After a few hours/days/weeks I finally found the trick; you just keep hitting the POGs with the slammer until enough POGs are flipped over. You probably can't do that, but rules were meant to be broken....Well I hope so, because I would have to give a lot of stuff back if that wasn't true.

Some notable POGs here. My favorite in the middle, the zombie rocker because it reminds me of my old POGs. I was in third grade so I had a lot of skull/fireball POGs. They were sweet. I can hardly get over how friggin weird these POGs are. Look! It's the "Happy Sun" POG, next to the "Gay Pride" POG, honestly who didn't have a POG?

Can't think of a comment? Talk about your POGs, and/or POGs you would like to have.

If my writing was a little disjointed during the article, I blame dunkaroos.

--Spencer